Today is day four of my exile from the world. I’m holed up with my immediate family and a stack of good books. We’re bored and a little goofy, and our dogs are finally getting the attention they deserve.
It’s been a weird week. On Tuesday, I had a happy hour with my coworkers. We toasted each other and shared snacks. On Wednesday, I bought groceries. I played volleyball with a group of close friends. I said goodbye.
Coronavirus will be described in history as an event, but it doesn’t feel like one. It feels like a storm. We make a lot of noise on the TV about it, stare at the horizon, and are ultimately quiet as it rolls over our world.
Humans are better at responding to immediate danger than mitigating abstract, existential threats. Most of us will probably over- or under-prepare, and we’ll be left making scarves out of Costco receipts and wondering whether we did the right thing. At home, I have a rock-solid Coronavirus plan, but plans are totally separate from the emotional work of responding to a pandemic.
That’s what I want to talk about here.
Catastrophes hit us twice. First, they wreck our security. And second, they cast the lighter moments into doubt. Are we allowed to laugh? Feel relieved, when things aren’t as bad as we expect?
If nobody else says it, I will. You are allowed to be happy when things are bad in the world. Putting your own oxygen mask on first isn’t cruel, it’s kind! A global silent killer has thrown all of our lives out of whack. But it’s also creating once in a lifetime opportunities to be home with family, to value intimacy, to laugh.
Younger Emily loved to “care” about problems she couldn’t solve. That caring turned out to be poor emotional hygiene, not empathy. It made my sadness the center of attention and robbed me of the ability to help anyone else. But we learn as we grow, and today I seek a model of empathy that doesn’t require anyone to dim their light. Those of us who find relief, community, family, rest—we gotta share it. Multiply it.
Within the threat and the anxiety, there are moments of GRATITUDE. Abundance! Many, many people worked hard to provide the protection we’re experiencing now, from understanding bosses to the delivery drivers working overtime. So many people are doing their best to share their gifts with others. Let’s give them a round of applause, enjoy the fruit of their labor, and steward them wisely.
LOVE YALL. Call each other.
Emily
This is just what I needed to hear. I love your writing. ?
Thank you, Jennifer!